I know what you're thinking: didn't she already have her birthday two months ago? Yep, I did. The birthday in question was not mine, but the surprise was. I'm not trying to be cryptic, so here goes the story…
老妹九月回台灣時幫我帶了我最愛的Walker's prawn cocktail crisps，另外也幫小Ｊ妹帶了salt & vinegar口味的，可是鍾小玲回倫敦都已經一個月了，小Ｊ的洋芋片還靜靜的躺在我家。我幾次在ＭＳＮ上威脅她再不來認領就要被我吃掉了，兩人也試圖約過幾次但是都流產。禮拜一在ＭＳＮ上遇到老妹，她說小Ｊ叫我不可以吃掉，我隔天馬上跟她約星期四交貨順便吃飯。
嘿嘿，拖了那麼久我為何突然這禮拜會積極要跟她約呢？
我：星期四晚上ｏｋ嗎？
Ｊ：ＯＫ啊，妳想吃啥？
我：天氣冷了，想吃ＭＫ的麻辣鍋（這是鍾小玲的最愛，每次聽說我去吃就會隔著電腦感受到她目露兇光的騰騰殺氣）
Ｊ：兩個人怎麼點？
我：那是吃到飽，兩個人也ｏｋ啦
Ｊ：那我找小Ｘ（小帥哥）一起來好了
我：喔，好啊，我都可以
哈哈哈，不用我親自出馬不費吹灰之力就約到了。有人還敢自稱心機小魔女，在我面前還不甘拜下風？
But I should've known better, whenever he is involved, things are never as simple as it should be. The next day…
帥：明天要吃啥?
我：ＭＫ麻辣鍋
帥：幾點？在哪？
我：7:20在SOGO
帥：為什麼不約星期五？
我：小Ｊ不行，她有事。幹嘛要約星期五？
帥：我想可以多找一些人
我：．．．．．．．．．（再度無言以對）
帥：我這邊大概有四五個人，記得要訂位喔
我：（終於忍不住）ㄟ，先生，原本是我跟小Ｊ約吃飯找你當陪客耶！那我幫你訂隔壁桌好了！
帥：唉呀，我是想大家一起吃嘛，其他人妳也認識的
我：是要提前幫你過生日嗎？那你自己去坐隔壁桌！
星期四早上．．．
我：小Ｊ，妳昨天沒上線，今天晚上有八個人
Ｊ：ＷＨＡＴ？！
我：Is he always like this?!
Ｊ：Maybe he's afraid no one will celebrate his birthday on Saturday, so he's having a pre-birthday celebration tonight.
我：My thoughts as well.
Ｊ：那你要買禮物嗎？
我：（ＯＳ：禮物？！什麼鬼啊？！）ㄟ．．．
Ｊ：Ok, I get it….
我：沒有啦，我買一個蛋糕好了
我有一種被霸王硬上弓的感覺，and it's not the kind that I'd like it to be．．．這個叫什麼．．．聰明反被聰明誤？計畫趕不上變化？人生無常？好啦，我原本的如意算盤是，反正要跟小Ｊ約，如果我說要吃麻辣鍋她百分之八十會認為兩人吃人太少，剛好小帥哥是我們共同認識的，八九不離十會提議找他一起，我樂得不用親自出面。星期六是他生日，但同時也是李小娜生日，所以應該不會有機會幫他慶生，剛好可以趁機提前幫他慶生。我已經盤算好，那就買一個小蛋糕來個小小驚喜好了。只是沒想到．．．the surprise was on me! 我只能兩手一攤，一切隨緣．．．C'es la Vie… Go with the flow…
You ask, how was dinner? Dinner was fine, sort of an anti-climax compared to the foreplay. The cake was well received, he showed the proper appreciation and finished his piece with gusto. (臭小子，算他上道！) What can I say, I just a sucker for a pretty face. God help me.
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